I roamed the store looking at items that I would have worn ten years ago in my dress to impress stage way before motherhood. The days when accessorizing was fun, and looking cute was mandatory. I tried to appear interested holding shirts up to me as if I was pondering them, trying not to disappoint the salesman who still tracked us through the store hoping he could assist with a sale. And I was giving Noah all the time he wanted to soak up the atmosphere.
We headed out of the store to find that there was a small shop in the center of the mall selling toys that fly. Noah again found himself in a sort of heavenly state. He laughed and extended his long body with excitement, trying to move his stiff arms only to give away that he was not an ordinary baby. He gathered attention primarily because of his laughter, and maybe for slight curiosity of his awkward movements. Yet the cashier continued to demonstrate how high this little helicopter could fly just for Noah's amusement.
I loved seeing Noah in a state of pure joy. When I'm privileged to witness his happiness, somehow I feel it takes the focus off his many challenges and redirects them to his spirit. I of course really didn't have the money to be spending on such things, but I couldn't help myself as I said I'll take the red one pointing to the little helicopter in a box. I brought it home to his daddy who is still trying to learn how to fly it without crashing it.
Noah and I also enjoyed the last frapachino from my Starbucks card together, I had the coffee, he had the whip cream and we sat at a little table with him in his stroller, watching people pass us by. Many thinking we were just an ordinary mother and son. Some making comments about how cute Noah was. His sweet looks do attract a lot of attention from walker-bys. And Noah soaks up meeting new people.
The highlight to Noah's mall walk was of course the elevators. He's taking a tremendous liking to them. He giggles with extreme delight when the beep comes indicating a new floor has arrived. We road it four times just for his pleasure. It gives me this tingle in my heart to know I'm making him happy.
I could have sworn we had a conversation in the mall together over the poster of Godiva's new ice cream cones in their window. I was telling him how scrumptious I thought they looked, a word I reminded him had been on Sesame Street that morning. He talked back with various sounds then paused and looked at me for a response. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on my part that we were actually engaging in some sort of conversation, but it felt real.
"Enthusiasm is contagious. Be a carrier."
Susan Rabin
Love,
Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.