Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Irritating Factor

Noah woke up at 5am this morning because there is a car in our neighborhood that refuses to fix a muffler problem. That car passes our house several times a day and without fail if Noah is sleeping or trying to sleep it is over. There are so many little things that now get on nerves that never did before simply because it makes life in the special needs lane more complicated. Like the teenager down the street that purposely lets his beagle poop all over the sidewalk down the entire street. Not so cute for a parent that takes lots of stroller rides to calm a upset child, or needs to use the sidewalk for a child in a walker or adaptive tricycle who can't easily dodge fresh poop. I think I even am starting to develop a short fuse for those who complain about literally nothing. Is it really a crisis because you burnt your dinner? Call for pizza. Try a REAL crisis. Try dealing with terminal illness, a special needs child, or a even a death, not everyone comes home each day to those they love - then tell me how serious your burnt dinner is. It feels like no one has any real perspective on how their actions or words affect someone else. We have such an egotistical society that it gets to me. We rarely help our neighbors or fellowman unless there is something in it for us. Or we use only a specific cause to be "nice" for a day. Cancer awareness day, or an Anniversary of September 11th... then everyone goes right back to forgetting what really should matter all the rest of the days of the year. Why can't we just all be in it for each other 365 days a year?

I get more annoyed that insurance agents, medical billing representatives and equipment vendors cannot seem to find the time to return my calls. Five minutes in my day is like an hour when you have to care for a special needs child. Hunting them down over the phone takes precious minutes I often don't have to deal with them. It also irritates me when I find a product I depend on and they discontinue it. There rarely is a substitute that works as good as what I liked. In the land of special needs that really is a pain. I also get irritated more when people put me off. They think if they ignore you long enough you'll go away. Little do they know the special needs mother is probably the most persistent creature walking the face of the earth. We will stalk you, bother you, and make you memorize our child's name until we see results to get them what they need.

And raise your hands if you know of someone who told you life just really isn't that bad? Not bad for who exactly? Not bad for the little boy who cannot do anything but lay on the floor all day? Not bad for the parent in ICU with a dying child? Even more ironic when you have a special needs parent tell you they just love the way their child is. Really? Who really hopes and dreams their child will face physical or mental challenges? Let's be honest. Totally honest about what this is like. Don't sugar coat it, don't say you're okay when you are not. It's okay to put your heart out there and wear it on your sleeve. There is no shame in pain. None. We all have it to some degree throughout our lifetime. Talk about it openly. God would want us to help each other through the mud puddles, and rough patches. He would want us to try to help heal each other. Yet so many just turn the other cheek... not their problem, not their child.

Noah may not be a child any of you gave birth too, but he is a small part of your life in someway if you are reading this. Whether you sit on the sidelines and are rooting for all his little achievements, or praying daily for continued miracles to come his way, whether he touches a soft spot in your heart with his tender blue eyes, or inspires you to help someone in need. There is a reason he is here, and there is a reason that you are reading about him - however you crossed his path. The biggest irritant is that there are so many that don't recognize that there is something much bigger than "us." So I ask that you don't worry about your burnt dinner, but worry more that your neighbor might be hungry. Pick up your puppy poo because a special needs child needs that sidewalk, and please... just please fix that loud muffler whoever you are so this tired mommy can sleep. Amen.


Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.