I'm trying to balance the negative with the positive this week. The
final financial blow (don't they say things come in disaster's of
three?). We faced our furnace dying in the middle of a snow storm,
forced to retreat to a hotel for warmth for nearly 24 hours. Four days
later a near electrical fire in our utility box, requiring a whole new
installation and box... four weeks later on the very first nice day
we've had all year and we realized that our AC also chose to die,
resulting in the only option that was left available to us borrowing
from my mom who has no job, no savings or retirement account and only a
personal credit card to come to our rescue. You can kind of imagine
all those things making me feel pretty low. Even lower I think because
we are in such a terrible financial position that I have to dissolve all
pride of being independent, successful, responsible, and well-educated
adult, to have to ask for help of any kind. The hardest of times for
anyone - even harder when the out of pocket costs for your child with
special needs cost as much a month as a mortgage payment.
But in
my lowest of times, kindness is sent and serves as a reminder that at
the very heart of our family - Noah is valued and loved by so many. God
must have known that I was at a particularly extra low time. So
stressed and distraught that I think it's all taking it's toll physically as for the last week my appetite has changed, for whatever
reason I'm experiencing significant swallowing difficulties, neck muscle
pains - I'm sure all likely a result of compounded stresses that I can
do nothing about. It always feels like I have a heavy gorilla sitting
on my chest that never wants to let me up to breathe.
Noah
received four very special gifts; a breathtaking quilt from Love Quilts
and a soft sensory comforting dinosaur from the Butterfly Fund, and a
Sunshine Box for him and his little brother, and a surprise blessing from Fighting for Families. On my lowest of days just
knowing that someone, somewhere out there is thinking of Noah and us as a
family helps me get through things that are so overwhelming and are
simply beyond my control.
Noah's Love Quilt filled with
beautiful patches each designed and hand cross-stitched by people from
all over the world. We picked one of the big love of Noah's life -
Christmas, as theme. The one true thing that brings him tremendous joy
year-round. You will often find Santa Claus movies playing in the
middle of a July in 90 degrees, and Christmas bells on our living room
floor on any given day. If we aren't successful in making Noah happy
with Mr. Tumble or his UK television shows, we know without fail that
Santa will do the trick. The quilt is so soft and plush and you can
literally feel the labor of love that was poured into making it. It's
something that Noah will treasure for a lifetime. And I think will
provide memories that he will cherish forever - that one very special
quilt.
And when I thought I could just crumble into a ball of
tears over all that I'm trying to manage in our lives, a little box for
Noah lay on the doorstep. A box filled with tiny little butterflies, a
sweet note, and a sensory soft dinosaur. Noah instantly laying his
eyes on it, he couldn't wait to touch it. You can just look at it and
know it's very unique - in fact I don't think I've ever come across a
stuffed animal as soft and soothing as this one. It is the ultimate
stuffed animal for a child with special needs or one who has sensory
sensitivities to touch or a fragile skin condition.
Right after
lunch another box was delivered. A package of Sunshine from the
Sunshine Foundation - a stranger who has never come to know our family
sponsored the boys and sent them a handful of little gifts to brighten
their day. It was especially wonderful for Luke. It makes him feel
included and just as important as Noah is when something arrives that
has his name on it. A little dinosaur, some bubbles, glow sticks, a
coloring book and a matchbox car made his whole day happy. Noah,
loving his Disney planes package of pajamas, picture frames and photo
books to go with his bedroom. He was so eager to touch and feel his new
gifts.
And just when I thought that no more love could arrive
in a single day, UPS rings my door with a very large box - he must have
seen the confusion in my face - I didn't think we were expecting
anything to arrive. I seen the label on the side of the box "Special
Tomato" and knew instantly that had just received a huge blessing. The
UPS driver to my surprise knew what it was. He shared that he too had a
child the same age as Noah who was special needs and relied on
equipment. He beamed with pride as he handed me that box - this
unspoken understanding between us of what that box really meant.
Sharing moments with a stranger like that is often really powerful.
Because they get it. They live every moment of it too.
The box
contained a Hi/Low chair feeding chair from this incredible loving
heart from Fighting for Families. I would tell you it was chance - but
nothing is chance. There is no way that God would pick today out of
all days to make sure I knew that although things feel like they are the
lowest they could go, that I mustn't ever give up that where there is a
will there is always a way.
It was a great reminder that
although at times things feel really bad, and I might fall flat on my
face sometimes in life and be beyond down on my luck - at the heart of
what really matters is that Noah is happy, and that others want to bring
such joy into our lives. I am forever grateful for that.
"It is the
unexpected that changes our lives." May you all know the incredible difference you have made.
Love,
Noah's Miracle by
Stacy Warden is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
