Tuesday, December 8, 2015

A Special Needs Christmas Nightmare: The Elf on the Shelf

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Let's be honest.  My life has a enough chaos to it.  

The ever popular Elf on the Shelf that seems to have taken over Christmas traditions well after my childhood came to an end, fills social media sites, newsfeeds and holiday pictures swarm around that ever naughty elf.   And he's never up to any good.  He's a royal pain in the ass.  He's spraying mirrors with bleach, he's picking on the family dog, he's eaten all your favorite m&m's that you were rationing until Christmas.  I mean really could he be any more of a special needs parenting nightmare?

Unless he's going to sprout some compassion and real help - not just reporting back to Santa like the mini stuffed tattle tale that he is, or helping me get up a thousand times in the night to turn Noah in his sleep or check on his breathing, or help me spoon feed him during the day, or play with Luke when Noah needs my undivided attention, calling SSI to bark up their Christmas tree, or threaten not to send Medicaid a Christmas card unless they waive the most recent over payment - then he simply isn't invited and I'm not giving him a key to wreak havoc on our household.

Facing the facts are important.  It's all I can do to put up the Christmas tree weeks before Thanksgiving because Christmas is a sensory treat for Noah, think about how I'm going to afford even just one adapted toy for him which is five times the cost of a toy that we'd purchase for his little brother at any toy store, and contemplate making Christmas cookies, sending out Christmas cards, and finding some sort of inner Fa-la-la-la.   The last thing I want to be doing is coordinating and reprimanding an overly precocious elf.  It's just not on my special needs parenting agenda.

Let's not forget the most important part of Elf on the Shelf.  He's creepy.  Even dressed up now in the Claus Courture with Elf Pets makes that elf higher maintenance than my child with special needs.  My child would take one look at him and guaranteed it would give him a sensory gag reflex.

Hats off to the parents that find him fun, weird and entertaining.  But this special needs parent is going to stick to the old school way and just let Santa handle the naughty and nice list without his little mischievous Elf on the Shelf.


Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.