Like with most good news that comes our way. It's always slightly
premature for me to celebrate. Because around every corner there is
essentially a new problem. Noah's modified bathroom request that was
approved under the wire of the end-of-year deadline is short more funds
than I actually realized. Now the amount that I need is $4,163.00 - the
amount short that Medicaid will not fund. Originally I thought we were
looking at less than maybe half that. But with all things there is
always a catch.
Sometimes you wonder if people think just
because you have a child with special needs that it automatically means
you are financially loaded. Yep, I just have all this extra cash laying
around to pay out of pocket for all of his 8 "alternative" therapies
not covered by Medicaid, or his supplies that they deem a non-medical
necessity, or equipment that continually gets denied. Everyone must
think I'm wearing a sign around my neck that says "Cash Cow..." Or they
just assume that the community is taking care of us with donations and
fundraising. None of which is the case.
We can't keep up.
We're trying. We've been treading dangerous waters for years now.
While I'm certainly not looking for hand-outs in life I sure could use a
touch of fairness. There is no reason why anything dealing with
anything special needs or disability related has to come with these
types of price tags. Makes you feel like you're simply the pray. An easy mark. A desperate target. And there are so many onion layers to
all this.
On one hand here is all that Noah needs for a quality
of life and daily living needs. On the other hand no money to fulfill
those needs. This is so different than having a typical child that you
can't afford ballet or soccer for... this is what he needs to live.
Regardless, of the fact that I still can't convince some people that
having a child with Noah's level of needs is not a luxury. He will be
six in a matter of weeks, he isn't getting any smaller his needs
continue to grow with him. I'm facing hoyer lifts, stair lifts,
additional home ramps to get him into the garage and even allow him
access to his own backyard. He is outgrowing equipment that I'll have
to re-request. And therapies aren't getting any cheaper. And I'm
trying to keep up with van payments that are more than a fancy sports
car.
I'm craving someone to be authentic with me. Be honest and
mean it. Want to help me without an agenda. Be there to simply hold
my hand, hug me, and say you know I'm going to help your son because
it's the right thing to do. Not because he's a dollar sign. Not because
he's a statistic, or a number in your system. Play by all the rules
and just cut me some slack in an already heavy set of tragic
circumstances. God please send me those people. I'm growing just so
weary.
Love,
Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.