Sunday, December 21, 2014

The Box on the Doorstep

Surrendering to the fact that you've done all you can do and can do no more is such a hard pill to swallow. Especially so, for a special needs parent like myself, who dedicates every ounce of my being to helping my child and those like him.   The truth be told no matter how hard you fight that sometimes not all battles can be won. In fact most can't be. I often convince myself that I'll find another avenue, another road to pursue... a way around this giant obstacle that will lead me to the goal of helping Noah.   Sometimes I succeed. But many times I don't.

I have a tendency to fight as hard as I can for as long as I can, until I reach the end of my rope without further direction to go. That usually results in a tremendously good cry and a strong prayer since there's nothing else to be done.   I've reached that stage with many things. Most recently with the hopes of obtaining the Krabat Pilot Crawler for Noah. I started that process in October of 2013. Over a year ago.   I faced a Medicaid denial, a Medicaid Appeal. A win after an Administrative Law Hearing, only to have Medicaid reverse my win. Dragging out the process for several months.   I tried to fundraise, that didn't work out well. It's hard to get people to understand that something of this nature is truly needed for your child and to help further his personal growth, independence and quality of life.   Hunted multiple foundations, with most not even responding at all.

I came to that inevitable point where it was time for that good cry and that strong prayer. Tried as hard as I could and I failed. But out of the blue, completely unexpectedly, Wheelchairs4Kids, a foundation that assists children with adaptive equipment responded to my application and said they assist Noah with the crawler.   They contacted many local agencies within our area who helped contribute to the gift of helping Noah. Many whom I'll never even know. So many people coming together for one little boy to gift him with the chance to crawl.

When all hope was lost... the Krabat Pilot became a reality.

In a box it sat at our front door.

Can you imagine the intensity of that feeling? Something that you had known your child needed but that you couldn't find a way to provide? To have fought so hard and resigned yourself to accepting it was never going to happen? And then to see that box. That very box that contained that one thing that you knew would make all the difference?

It's like a feeling of a combination of all the Magic of Christmas and all the love God can provide all tied up together. Your tears turn from those of sorrowful nature to complete and utter gratefulness.

And today, Noah crawled with the assistance of the Krabat Pilot.

His motivation, tremendous drive, and desire to move propelled him forward. Just as I imagined it to be... just as I knew it would be. Something I seen only in dreams became real.