The 4th Year of Noah's Miracle

The end of 2012 has been a little bumpy. And in addition Noah has indeed caught his brother's croup. But no matter what lies before us or behind us we are blessed because we have Noah in our lives. Thank you to all that have continue to pray so hard for Noah. Wishing you all a New Year filled with lots of love, memories and blessings.

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Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Nana Goes to Heaven

Noah's great-grandmother passed away yesterday.  The loss of a family member is especially difficult as we don't really have a lot of family and friends who love us enough to be able to cope with our circumstances.  She had a short battle with an illness that she got right before the holidays and she just couldn't fight it.  I had really thought she'd be okay so it was rather sudden as death sometimes is.   You always want that one last goodbye.  That one last chance to say I love you.  That one last Christmas card to each of the boys that didn't come this year because she was ill... she was a good great-grandma.  She was just as proud of Noah as if he had been born without a disability.  She even braved the butterfly pavilion with us when she visited last.  Something that I'm sure was hard for her to do because she had such a big phobia about moths and bugs that fly.  But she did it anyway and was a really good sport about it to be with Noah and doing something that he loved to do. 

Noah meets his great-grandmother for the 1st time

Butterfly Pavilion Bliss

Grandchild, please don’t mourn me I’m still here,
though you don’t see.
I’m right by your side each night and day
And within your heart I long to stay.
My body is gone but I’m always near,
I’m everything you feel, see or hear.
My spirit is free, but I’ll never depart.
As long as you keep me alive in your heart.
I’ll never wander out of your sight,
I’m the brightest star on a summer night.
I’ll never be beyond your reach,
I’m the warm moist sand when you’re at the beach.
I’m the colorful leaves when Autumn’s around,
And the pure white snow that blankets the ground.
I’m the beautiful flowers of which you’re so fond,
The clear cool water in a quiet pond.
I’m the first bright blossom you’ll see in the spring,
The first warm raindrop that April will bring.
I’m the first ray of light when the sun starts to shine,
And you’ll see that the face in the moon is mine.
When you start thinking there’s no one to love you,
You can talk to Grandma through the Lord above you.
I’ll whisper my answer through the leaves on the trees,
And you’ll feel my presence in the soft summer breeze.
I’m the hot salty tears that flow when you weep,
And the beautiful dreams that come while you sleep.
I’m the smile you see on a baby’s face.
Just look for me, Grandchild, I’m every place!

Love,
Nana

Nana, you'll forever be in our hearts, and please look out for Noah; he needs all the angels he can get.

Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Noah's Big Gift

Noah's 4th birthday was just as beautiful as his first.  He had a Shrek Birthday themed cheesecake and his Service Dog in training arrived.  Meet Samson!

Samson - Noah's Service Dog in Training

A Happy Birthday Boy

Noah's Shrek Cheesecake

Samson immediately responded well to Noah - it is truly a perfect match.  Samson is very easy going, gentle, loving and wants to be where Noah is.  They are off to a beautiful start.   We weren't sure how our other two dogs would adjust but we're so happy to report that within less than 24 hours everyone are best friends.  Samson has a lot of training ahead of him in the first year and then he'll leave home after a year old for extensive skill training, which I am sure will be hard on the entire family - especially Noah when he leaves home for a while.  But in the end the reward will be so great.  Noah had a really great day.  He loved his balloons and loved his cheesecake.  It was a day full of lots of love, laughter and smiles.  We remain so thankful for all the help and kindness that made Noah's Service Dog possible - and it couldn't have been more perfect for him to arrive on his birthday.

We were so touched by all the birthday cards Noah received.  Especially from Cole's Foundation.  They are the most loving group of people ever.  They continuously lift us up in love and prayer in lots of caringbridge guestbook posts, and they love our Noah tremendously.  He received the most precious birthday cards from other little children from the Cole's Foundation and they are so sweet that they bring tears to your eyes.  I save each one in a hope chest for Noah.  So he knows someday how many people love him and cheer him on everyday of the year!  They are so special to us.  It's tiny things like a card that we hold so dear to us, just to know that he's loved and that we're not alone.  We're so thankful for our friends at Cole's Foundation!

Noah had an equally wonderful Christmas.  He loved alternating sitting in his daddy and grandmother's lap to open presents.  He was full of excitement and joy. And he finally was able to open all those presents he had been trying to get to for several weeks.  I don't know that Noah has a favorite present.  He seems to be enjoying looking at everything that is so new to him.  I think he had grown bored of his toys all year so it was nice to be able to pack away his older ones to make room for newer ones for him to play with.  And his interests are changing.  He's no longer a baby so some baby toys just bore him.  That's the tough balance you find when you have a special needs child is finding somewhat age appropriate gifts but gifts that Noah can also find a way to play with at the same time.   But it's great that they make so many neat toys these days like cars that drive themselves.  Noah loves that kind of thing - any 4 year old would.

Excited that Santa Came!

Noah also dodged the Christmas Croup that his little brother contracted shortly before Christmas.  Thankfully Noah remained healthy, although I worked very hard to keep the two boys apart for many days.  Something that wasn't easy since they have become like peanut butter and jelly to each other. 

And now we look forward to another year full of lots of blessings and continued miracles in Noah's life.  He continues to do great things and we are so proud of him.  We have a feeling the new year will bring even more amazing things!

Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Happy 4th Birthday Noah!

Dear Sweet Noah,

4 Years have gone so quickly.  You continue to be one of the biggest blessings we've ever received in life.  Your laughter warms my heart and makes me smile.  Wishing you the best and most beautiful birthday a child could ever have.  We love you to the moon and back.  May all your dreams and wishes come true.

Love, 



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Merry Christmas from the Warden Family

Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Forgiveness

And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34

That could apply to many things in our life.  Forgiveness is an interesting thing.  You often have to humble yourself to understand that others may unknowingly cast hurt in your direction.  In the world of special needs our pain can be intensified by others... but only if we let it be. 

In the beginning I was rather taken back that parents with able-bodied children who openly bragged in front of me about how smart their children were, how fast they learned to walk and talk.  How they were the best in spelling B's, dance recitals, and soccer games.  You wondered why they just didn't know how much you wanted all those things for your child too.  And at times it did feel like many were rubbing salt in my wounds.  They had what I wanted.  An able-bodied, typical child.  But jealousy and envy are dangerous feelings.  They can feed hate and resentment and nothing at all that promotes or helps cultivate the strength and courage needed for this journey.  It can be so self-destructing to always wonder what life on the other side of the fence is like.  You should only be tending to the flowers in your own garden, not trying to see what your neighbor is growing.

Likewise, one day I was stunned that a family who had lost the the father called themselves a special needs family, or a mother who had a child who was in the NICU for seven days, but has a healthy typical child but still claims to be a special needs parent.  While extremely tragic, the death of a parent doesn't make you special needs family any more than a healthy child who had a rough start.  I wondered why they would even want to be like me... there is nothing glamorous about his journey.  It's hard. But when I sat back and truly digested their situations I think they were doing their best to relate to me.  To try to make me feel not so alone with life's bumps and bruises - or at least I'd like to believe those were their intentions. 

I did have to change my expectations of people or I found myself continually disappointed.  I expected this friend to pick up the phone to see how I was doing, another friend to know I needed a hug, to have family members know that I needed simply a listening ear.  People just don't know what to do with you when you have a tragic thing happen to you.  Many simply withdraw innocently because they lack the know how on how to approach you, what to say, how to act.  After all it's our lives that have changed - not theirs.  While it certainly doesn't let everyone off the hook as to say that it takes a special person to change with you and what happened to your life.  Not everyone can make that transition with you.  They don't know how.  You can't expect them to as it hasn't happened to them.

Just because your life is now swallowed up with endless handicapped equipment, new routines, and a medically fragile child doesn't mean their lives can slow down to incorporate yours.  Does it burn?  Absolutely so.  You crave to be included, thought of... you want that invite to birthday parties, to summer bar-b-ques.  But when you really sit back and think even if you were to get an invite you'd likely not be able to RSVP because your child has so many medical and sensory needs and you don't have respite care.  Is it the gesture that we're looking for?  Sometimes.   Everyone wants to feel included even if we can't play reindeer games with the other reindeer. 

But back to forgiveness - there is so much frees your heart in that one simple word.  Forgiveness.  You forgive the mom that boasts that her oxygen deprived child is normal in every way when yours is not, the school teacher that says your child won't ever amount to anything, the stranger who looks at your child and calls him a "cripple."  Because as the good Lord says, "they know not what they do."  Forgiving doesn't mean you are better than them; it just means you are freeing up your heart to incorporate more love for not only your special needs children but all those around you as you travel this road.  We have to be the endless guiding light for our special blessings, we don't have time to hold grudges.  It's has no place in the journey. 

Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Christmas is Now

It's no secret that Noah's favorite time of year is Christmas time.  He spends countless hours in front of his Christmas train and he's grown increasingly fast at rolling to where he wants to go over the course of this year and he make a bee-line for the wrapped presents each time.  And before we know it - he's even unwrapped them - and he's got great aim - he only goes for the ones with his name on them.  Super smart he is.  We keep trying to tape them back together the best we can - but Noah is insistent that Christmas is now and he wants to open those presents!  He's so excited about ripping the paper.  This is the first time we've ever seen Noah this excited about opening gifts.  He truly understands what they are and he wants them.  And when I pull him away from them he give me a look like I'm severely disappointing him and aggravating his big attempts to open those gifts.

Noah has also made amazing progress with head control at hippotherapy.  The last two weeks have been incredible.  He holds his head up on his horse like any other child would.  Chris and I kept looking at each other like is that really our Noah on that horse?  Because it looked like any able-bodied 4 year old riding.  It was enough to take our breath away.  It's beyond words.  We're so proud of Noah he's working so hard, and we're thrilled with the results of what 14 weeks of hippotherapy has done for him.  We are now on a winter break and resuming back up in February.  As most of Noah's therapies go, it's very expensive and something we have trouble keeping up with, but when you see the progress Noah is making you continue to do anything and everything to help him.

Noah's service dog is due to arrive on his birthday.  We are very excited about our new family member joining us on Noah's birthday.  This dog is going to do so many great things for Noah in his life.  Noah will be having a Shrek themed birthday cheesecake made of caramel and fudge this year, something he can eat in it's entirety.  We're ditching the cake thing and making it completely something he can eat.  We're trying to focus on all the joyous parts of the holiday season, and remembering that our little miracle is still here four years later.  A tough fight, a tough road, a tough journey for all of us.  But we have his life - and that's the greatest gift.  Many people argue Noah's not a true miracle because he has yet to be blessed with a full recovery.  But people who question a miracle likely have never seen one.  They've never held a baby in their arms, wondering if it would take it's last breath.  To be told that after thirteen long minutes that your child was revived after having no heartbeat.  To bear witness to a December rainbow in a Colorado sky - a forever promise between God and Noah.  I live with a miracle each day. 

Love,




Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Gingerbread Therapy

Yes there's a new therapy in town... gingerbread therapy. Don't get too excited. Medicaid deems this alternative therapy too!

I went to the store and seen the cutest little gingerbread men cakes. I loved them. The kind of sweet creation that says I'm so lovely, your children would adore me, and buy me now! I picked up two containers without hesitation. I have two boys and I need two gingerbread men cakes. The baker smiled at me acknowledging that I had found these confections quite cute and turned to say "they are just as good as they look." I thanked him and told him that I was hopeful that my oldest child would have a great time as it was going to be Gingerbread Therapy. He looked at me so puzzled until I explained I had a child that couldn't orally eat solids. And that I had a little one that could, but my heart doesn't let me buy just for one child and not the other - even knowing I have one that has significant disabilities. He took my hand and told me I was a good mom and that my son was going to have the best Gingerbread Therapy and that it made his day.

And indeed Noah did have the best time at Gingerbread Therapy. I put his little decorated man in front of him, he gave me a coy smile and then swatted his little gingerbread man. The cake so springy that it just continued to bounce on the tray causing Noah to giggle about his cake dancing. He didn't even mind that he couldn't indulge in it's sweet fun - to him he was playing with his little gingerbread man and that's all that mattered to him. The gingerbread man probably looked a little familiar to him - it did kind or resemble Gingey from Shrek - who he finds completely hilarious. He spent a good hour working on tossing that gingerbread man around, until I think he realized that his little brother was actually inhaling his and he could not. So as a consolation prize Noah had a big spray of whipped cream, something that he could easily enjoy as a mid-afternoon treat. And in the end I had two very happy boys who both loved their gingerbread men in different ways. It's okay, we made it work and it's a beautiful thing.

We have more Gingerbread Therapy scheduled this weekend, Noah's grandmother purchased the boys a very special gingerbread house to build equipped with a snowman for the front lawn, and a gumdrop walk-way. It all doesn't get much more heavenly than that.

 “The Gingerbread House has four walls, a roof, a door, a window, and a chimney. It is decorated with many sweet culinary delights on the outside. But on the inside there is nothing—only the bare gingerbread walls. It is not a real house—not until you decide to add a Gingerbread Room. That’s when the stories can move in. They will stay in residence for as long as you abstain from taking the first gingerbread bite.”Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration 

Our Gingerbread room will be filled with lots of love, hope and faith... we hope your Gingerbread house will be too.

 Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

You've known me for many years now. When I was just a tender little thing you never disappointed me. You've brought me countless treasures. And you know that I used to ask for a lot of things. My lists were miles long - I wanted the world. Now that I'm all grown my list has grown significantly smaller. I've learned the true importance and meaning of life. I only want to ask for one thing... one thing that I know is way too big for you alone. Yet it remains on my wish list. And I continue to send that wish out to the universe in hopes that someone might catch that wish in their hands like a speck of magic stardust, and find a way to grant it. Please send me that Christmas Miracle that you know my heart aches for.

Santa's Little Helper

Noah was so excited tonight waiting on your arrival, he played with his Christmas train around the tree and spent lots of time knocking down his nativity figurines and playing with his snow globe, which had it's last good snow as his little brother Luke broke the plastic ball tonight. (I hope Luke told you he now needs a new unbreakable snow globe). We kept telling Noah that you were on your way and he just kept growing with excitement. He's been watching movies about how you deliver presents and spread holiday cheer for many months. So tonight was a big deal for him. He'll probably be dreaming of sugar plum fairies until Christmas actually comes now.

Santa's Firetruck

Noah was so excited to see you come up the driveway. A huge difference from the very first time he met you. Noah looked at you with such awe and beamed with his sweet and loving smiles. You've charmed your way into his heart all season long and gave him the greatest gift when you made a special visit to our home tonight arriving on the fire truck. Thank you for holding his precious little hand and offering him a loving embrace. Your heart is so big that you don't even see a little boy with physical challenges, you see Noah as I wish the world would see him.

Santa Holding Noah's Hands

Your helpers are always so nice every year, and it's such a gift to meet everyone your bring with you. Hearts as big as gold. And I'm so thankful and blessed that you and your entire team of elves came to listen to all that Noah hopes to get for Christmas. But he's pretty easy to please and I know he'll be super thrilled with whatever you bring him Christmas morning. Thank you for bringing Christmas magic to our home.

With Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.

The Twelve Days Of Christmas Special Needs

On the first day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: a child with special needs.

On the second day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: a heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the third day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: an ache in my heart and a heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the fourth day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: a tear in my eyes, an ache in my heart and a heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the fifth day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in my heart and my heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the sixth day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: a ray of hope, an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in my heart and my heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the seventh day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: a sense of humor, a ray of hope, an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in my heart and my heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the eighth day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: supportive friends, a sense of humor, a ray of hope, an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in my heart and my heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the ninth day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: remarkable doctors &; therapists, supportive friends, a sense of humor, a ray of hope, an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in heart and my heart full of love for my child with a special needs.

On the tenth day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: an appreciation of small accomplishments, remarkable doctors &; therapists, supportive friends, a sense of humor, a ray of hope, an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in my heart and my heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, the good Lord gave to me: a sense of pride and courage, an appreciation of small accomplishments, remarkable doctors &; therapists, supportive friends, a sense of humor, a ray of hope, an unsuspected strength for the tear in my eyes and the ache in my heart and my heart full of love for my child with special needs.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the good Lord said to me: Reach out and share your sense of pride and courage, your appreciation of small accomplishments, your remarkable doctors &; therapists, your supportive friends, your sense of humor, your ray of hope, your unsuspected strength for the tear in your eyes and the ache in your heart and your heart full of love for your child with special needs.

Love,



Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.