Tuesday, March 10, 2015

The Question You Mustn’t Ever Ask

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Cliché as it sounds don’t we always tend to ask ourselves how much more we can take when life throws us overwhelming unexpected curveballs?   We all do it in our lowest of moments.  Ask God just how much more he thinks we can handle.   However, I’m convinced that is our fatal flaw. We’re merely teasing God – tempting him rather to offer up more than he already has for us to overcome.  I’m certain of it. 

Instead what we should be saying is thank you for the massive challenge you just laid before me, I’m going to conquer it and move forward and never dream of questioning how much more I can handle. 

Not quite yet a week ago I lay in a hotel bed asking God that question – that very question of how much more do you think I can take?… A non-working furnace that had to be replaced in the middle of a snow storm forcing my entire family to retreat to a hotel for warmth since we have a medically fragile child who can’t self-regulate temperature. 

Over the weekend we began to experience our lights dimming and flickering, something we thought was likely directly related to our new furnace potentially drawing too much power.  (Or so we rather hoped).  But to our dismay when our electrical box was opened it was evident what we were dealing with was more severe, scary and of course let’s not forget going to be very expensive.

Melting of components had started to occur, signs that electrical arcing was occurring.  Faulty panel, and had nothing to do with the furnace installation whatsoever.  A problem that had been brewing for sometime given the cobwebs around the damaged parts – essentially a ticking time bomb for our home.  Best case scenerio you lose all power, worse case you’re going to have a massive catastrophic home fire.

There it was - how much more can you take - hand, sealed and delivered.  You need a new electrical box.  I can’t say for a brief moment I didn’t want to be just pissed off at the world.   That meant no power – again.  For hours.  Meaning Noah needed another place to stay… again for hours.  And the price tag, impossible when you’re trying to pay for multiple therapies, out of pocket equipment and medical costs.    I wanted to throw a tantrum bigger than Rumpelstiltskin ever had.   Pound my feet deep into the ground and shout “what for?”  (And at this moment I still kind of want to do that… maybe just a little bit).

But, with time comes perspective and what is important at this very moment is that my family is alive.  We are safe.  We dodged two very potentially dangerous situations in one week.  How lucky can you get that we warned of these brewing problems before something tragic happened?  Blessings?  Yes.  Hidden, but blessings.

Things could have gone tragically wrong, we could have been a family you heard on the news that didn’t escape a fire or suffered the consequences of carbon monoxide poisoning with a severely disabled child.  So even though it feels like I can’t handle much more, the reality is what has been set before me pales in comparison to all that could have happened and didn’t.   I may not like it, but it’s okay.  I must remember the blessings – remember the good, and remain eternally thankful.


Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.