I wish it would stop raining. Literally and figuratively. It has been
raining before Mother's Day, with a brief snow just in time for
Mother's Day and has been raining off and on pretty much since. I'm
tickled pink if we get above 60 degrees and we're in late May. With a
short growing season I'll be lucky to see one zucchini squash and a
handful of berries. And for whatever reason many of our older bushes
and shrubs died over the winter, something being a native I've never
ever seen happen. Which means a lot of root digging and plant funerals
in my future. Our yard feels like a squishy marsh when you step on
it, and I had a handful of mud piles from where the grass suffered
winter kill. To say the least I have a lot of work ahead of me to
nurse our tiny yard back to health. But asking for a little sunshine
would be a great start.
This weather of course does nothing to
help with the personal rain cloud I'm feeling as a result of spending an
exorbitant amount of time this past weekend drafting a legal appeal for
the denial of Noah's disposable medically necessary pillowcases to
accompany his anti-suffocation pillows that the State purchased earlier
this year. I do really feel bad that I have to take up the Court's time
with a pillowcase issue, but I'm so totally over being railroaded into
the State keeping Noah's benefits that are allotted to him each year. A
purposeful move on their part. Eventually, I would think they would
get exhausted doing this tango dance with me and just fund what is
needed in accordance with his CES yearly funding plan. It irritates me
to no end when I hear other parents saying their needs are being met
and their requests fulfilled when Noah sits on a handful of denials.
It's definitely not a consistent program, and they have no real valid
reason for black-balling Noah from benefits as I haven't been
unreasonable or out of line with them. In fact I'm likely being WAY to
kind to them every time I have to correspond with them. Different
counties can somewhat run their own ship as they feel, most of this is
caseworker or supervisor discretion. It wasn't a good time drafting
the appeal request but so be it. Sometimes you feel like you have
nothing more to lose.
And Friday afternoon I got my nice weekend surprise.... a Social Security Overpayment Demand. Just fabulous. I
am so over these too. I faithfully turn in Noah's daddy's pay stubs
monthly. I fax them and send a copy by certified mail because they have
been known to say they didn't receive a fax. So I spend the extra
money to also have documentation of a certified document being signed
and received by them. It's really my only concrete protection that so
they can't deny timely receipt. And I'm good at this - I never forget
to do it - not ever. So when I get these overpayment demands I'm
especially livid as it's not because I'm not doing my part and sending
them pay stubs. It's their error (always) because they yet to this day
lack the ability to do accurate math. But what this means for me is
more time that I have to fill out both a Waiver form and an Appeals form
(because you never really know which one they'll accept). And I have
to of course make copies of my certified receipts and fax confirmations
to shove back under their noses to remind them I am right and they are
wrong. I shouldn't have to always do this. But they've made a habit
out of it.
I wish I didn't have to be dependent on either
system, County Services or SSI, in fact I think they rather put parents
like me through the ringer in hopes that they can force us to go away
and voluntarily withdraw from government assisted programs that are
specifically designed to help the disabled community. But I have no
other choice in order to help Noah and financially provide for him in
the only way I know how.
I do have hopes that eventually I will
make the right connections, and that it will lead me to a way to reach
those that have the ability to hear Noah's story and to make the changes
that need to be made not just for Noah but all those following in our
footsteps. My soul says I must change things, that I cannot allow
another family to suffer like we are. That I must find a way to stop it
for future generations. It doesn't have to be this way. And it will
take so much pressure and worry away from parents that are already
struggling just to cope with their child's care and diagnosis. We do
not need to be adding these additional problems to their struggles.
In the meantime I had some hopes that if I could get it to stop raining here that I'd find a way to get Noah to Give Kids the World (a place that requires a wish granting opportunity to get there)... so far that seems to not be going well either. Not sure that will ever happen. Never mind me, off to find my umbrella so I can try to let it all roll of my back (if that's even possible).
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love,
Noah's Miracle by Stacy Warden is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.